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| I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "just kidding." |
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| It's all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits. |
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| The sound of people eating irritates me so I moved to Africa. |
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| To all of you guys who "sag" your pants to show your butt and underwear... Did you know that the fashion trend originated in prison? It was a signal to the other MED that you are "available". So if you want to keep walking around looking like you're "available" for another dude to "tap that"... Well, keep thinking you're cool while I think you look like a fool! Pull up your pants!!! |
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| 69% percent of people who read this, thought of something dirty.
Like if you get it |
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| If someone is ugly, you call them a stalker...
If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer. |
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| When a girl is silent, that’s pretty dangerous. She’s either over-thinking, tired of waiting, about to blow, lonely, needs a hug, falling apart or crying inside.. and most probably all of those above. |
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| Dear parents, Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. You can't blame us. We were taught to rebel since a young age. |
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| A 15 year old girl holds her 1 year old son, people call her a sl*t. But no one knew she was raped at 13. Make fun of someone for being fat, but you don't know that person has a serious medical condition that causes her to be fat. Call the old guy ugly, but you don't know if he got a serious face injury after serving the country or saving a life. Stop stereotyping and think before you start talking trash of others. |
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| "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn’t understand life."
— John Lennon |
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| Once you start to dislike someone, everything they do begins to annoy you. |
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| I hate it when people, wear my glasses and say, "Wow you really are blind!"
Well no sh*t, you don't see me taking a persons wheelchair and saying, "Wow you really can't walk!" |
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| Dear examiners,
I'm 17, single, and can make a really great sandwich.
Gimme an A, and i'm all yours :) |
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| Who else thinks oreos are the universal sign that whites and blacks should get along? |
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| This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog. |